Nowadays, fewer and fewer people prefer to get into committed relationships. Whether it’s because you don’t have the time to dedicate to a relationship, have relationship issues, or haven’t found the right person to date, you can’t deny that you have physical needs to take care of. This is why casual sex is so prevalent these days and why you need to read this article, which will teach you everything you need to know about it.
What is Casual Sex?
Casual sex is the act of getting laid without the obligations of a relationship. There’s no emotional attachment involved here. Casual sex typically happens between strangers, though it isn’t unheard of for it to happen between open-minded friends and acquaintances.
Casual sex includes one-night stands, flings, and also FWB situations. Despite being casual, it does come with some boundaries to ensure that the relationship doesn’t get too serious. In this article, we’ll understand what does casual sex mean, as well as a couple of tips and rules to keep in mind.
How to ask a girl for Casual Sex
Knowing how to ask for casual sex is an art in and of itself. The following tips are how to have casual sex arrangements set up.
- See how interested the girl might be. Her body language and the way she speaks to you are key indicators.
- Know when to pop the question. You don’t wanna ask a girl if she’d be into hooking up casually when she’s already annoyed about something else. Somewhere semi-private, during a party or casual outing, is a good place to suggest it.
- Don’t beat around the bush. Lead by being flirty, and tell the girl how you’ve been enjoying your time with her. Be open to exploring things further with her.
- Talk about being casual. Don’t let her think you’re looking for a relationship. Make it clear that you’re not in the mental space for a relationship.
- Let her make her choice. If she’s down, amazing! If she doesn’t want a casual relationship, respect her choice. You can always find someone else to bang.
Sexy Rules For Keeping Things Light and Easy
Casual sexual relationships are meant to be lighthearted and breezy. Here are a few sexy rules you’ll pay heed to if you want to keep it that way.
- Don’t get personal. You’re meeting just to get laid. You don’t want to kill the vibe by going to a hookup and then trauma-dumping. Only talk about the fun stuff if you have to have conversations outside of sex.
- Be open about what you want. Women like men who know what they want and don’t beat around the bush. You want a no-strings-attached casual sex arrangement, so be upfront about it without being crass. Either you get what you want, or you won’t waste each other’s time.
- Prioritize fun. Since you don’t want to overstay your welcome, getting to the fun stuff ASAP is important. There’s no room for doubt when you’re meeting your hookup partner. Be open to new experiences, and maximize your time together.
- Set limits on the time you spend together. Having unlimited time together trivializes the time you have together, because you’ll take it for granted. Try to keep your meetings short and sweet. That way, there’s less chances for the spark to fizzle out.
Being Upfront About Other Partners
When it comes to casual sex, it’s standard for there to be no commitment to each other. If either of you wanted it, you’d be in a relationship. That being said, it’s common courtesy not to be ambiguous about whether you’re sleeping with other people or not. It’s not just a matter of sexual health because if you’re only seeing each other, you could decide to stop using condoms as long as she’s on the pill or has an IUD. So, when establishing your casual relationship, discuss whether or not the two of you will be seeing other people.
Keeping Emotions in Check
The biggest part of casual sex etiquette is keeping it casual. Neither person can afford to get too involved with the other because that leads to possessiveness and jealousy. In turn, it stops the casual relationship from being light and breezy. You’ll feel more stressed out at the thought of each other, while this was supposed to be a weight off your shoulders.
The easiest way to keep your emotions in check is to have strict boundaries and stick to them. Here are a few casual relationship rules I tend to follow.
- No spending the night.
- No getting breakfast together.
- No dates.
- Do not talk about your personal struggles with each other.
- Don’t mix friend groups.
- Ideally, sleep with other people as well. It’s hard to get attached that way.
Casual Sex Tips For Staying Safe
Regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman, you have to prioritize your safety. Here are a couple of casual sex tips that cover different avenues of safety.
- Don’t entertain a catfish. Most people meet their partners online these days, and naturally, that comes with the risk of getting catfished. It’s bound to happen to everyone sooner or later, and no matter how horny you are, do not continue your meeting with them. At best, they’re insecure about their appearance, and at worst, they might have something nefarious planned.
- Meet for the first time in a public spot. Pick a bar, a park, a restaurant, or anything where other people are present. This is so you can make sure the person you’re meeting is who they say they are and that they’re not insane.
- Use protection. Always wrap your tool. You don’t want a casual hookup to be the reason you end up with a lifelong STD.
- Insist on STD tests. When you’re meeting someone new for casual sex encounters, you can’t take risks about your sexual health. Even if you’re using protection, there’s always a chance for one of you to slip up. Get tested regularly, and ask your partner to get tested too. You have no idea how many other people she slept with.
- Trust your gut. Sometimes, you’ll get an intuitive feeling that something is wrong. When that happens, trust it. Your subconscious is smarter than you realize, so if something feels off, it probably is.
- Don’t stick your dick in crazy. The appeal of having sex with a girl who’s borderline psychotic is insanely appealing. Something about it makes it so hot, especially with how they tend to please you. That being said, it isn’t worth it. Take it from my personal experience.
Signs When Casual Becomes Complicated
You could be having the time of your life having casual sex, but it’s important to understand if your partner’s falling into the deep end. Here are a few things I keep watch for.
- They want to sleep over. Unless the conditions outside are too dangerous for them to go back home, they have no reason to stay over. Sleeping together, cuddling, and all, is borderline relationship territory.
- They want to meet up but not have sex. If your relationship wasn’t complicated by sex, then this would be two friends meeting up. Still, you have casual sex encounters with this person, and that, paired with what are essentially dates, means you’re basically in a relationship at this point.
- They start talking about feelings. Your relationship should strictly be booty calls. If they start relying on you as someone to vent to or need you to support them, they consider you boyfriend material. You need to shut that down.
- They show jealousy. This is supposed to be a no-strings-attached relationship with no commitment. If they’re upset that you’re seeing other people, they’ve caught feelings.
- They become clingy. If your casual hookup suddenly starts lingering at the door, trying to find excuses to come over or overstay their welcome, they’ve become clingy. No one who’s casual is clingy.
Spotting Red Flags During Casual Sex Encounters
Only some people you meet are going to be perfect casual fling material. Watch out for these things, and if they happen, run.
- Asks you not to use protection. If any person you’re casually seeing asks you not to use protection when you hook up, then you especially need to use protection. Even if she says she’s clean and on the pill, you shouldn’t trust it unless you’ve got proof. You’re risking getting an STD or even being baby-trapped.
- Not understanding consent. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, every person’s ‘No’ has to be respected. If there’s something you’re uncomfortable doing and your partner keeps pushing for it, she won’t respect your lack of consent and boundaries. Do yourself a favor and run.
- Love-bombing. This is a form of manipulation in which your partner will be overly romantic and affectionate with you, trying to make you emotionally dependent on them. As soon as you are, they’ll withdraw their affection, often becoming distant or critical of you by making you anxious for their attention.
- Being a receiver and not a giver. The whole point of a casual sex relationship is for you to have physical satisfaction. That means both people have to try to please the other. If you’re meeting someone who loves all the attention you’re giving them but keeps slacking on returning the favor, you owe it to yourself to find someone who cares about your pleasure.
When To Walk Away
All good things in life must come to an end. It’s important to understand when a casual fling has run its course. Trying to keep it going after its lifespan will only lead to resentment and hurt feelings. Here are a few signs that it’s time to end your casual sexual arrangement.
- You feel like you’re getting feelings for your partner. Unless your partner would be open to taking the relationship to the next step, it isn’t a good idea to mention that you’re catching feelings. In that scenario, it’s best just to end the relationship.
- It’s getting in the way of your responsibilities. Casual sexual relationships should improve your life, but they shouldn’t be the focus. If you feel like these relationships are getting in the way of other aspects of your life, it’s time to back off and reassess.
- You don’t enjoy it. Casual hookups are meant to be fun and lighthearted. If it starts to feel like an obligation and something you’re having second thoughts about, it’s time to call it quits.
- Your partner wants something more serious. Over time, your hookup partner might want to pursue a serious relationship. If that isn’t for you, it’s time to end things. You don’t want to lead her on.
Conclusion
Now you know all the casual sex rules and how you can get one of these arrangements, as well as all the red flags you’d have to look out for. You’re now ready for the world of relationships in 2024! With this knowledge, get out there and enjoy all the no-strings-attached flings you could ever want.