If you are here, then you’re thinking about how to have friends with benefits, or maybe you already have an FWB. Either way, our guide on the rules for friends with benefits will help you avoid making things messy fast and actually enjoy the relationship.
You need more than a good vibe and chemistry! You need a bit of emotional awareness and a lot of honesty to make things work. And we are here to show you how to make friends with benefits work without drama. Read on!
What Is a Friend with Benefits
First, let’s make it clear: what’s friends with benefits? The popular FWB definition is a type of relationship with someone you know, trust, and sleep with, but without any expectations of a romantic relationship or commitment. You are not going on romantic dates with talks about the future, or introducing each other to your parents. It’s basically a friendship but with added orgasms.
Note that a friends-with-benefits relationship is different from a hookup. As a hookup is more of a one-time or occasional thing when you search for a fuck near you to get it quick. FWB is also different from traditional dating, as it expects emotional commitment. And that’s why FWB relationships are so popular, as you get regular intimacy without the complications of a regular relationship.
But FWB is not an easy one, as things can spiral really fast if you are not exactly on the same page. That why our friends with benefits guide covers the right way to do FWB.
Rules for Friends with Benefits That Keep It Fun
These are not exactly laws that you should abide by, but friends with benefits rules can make the process smoother and more enjoyable.
Be honest from the start
Make sure that you’re both clear and on the same page about what you want. If one of you is hoping it’ll turn into something more, you need to know that upfront and not get into it.
Keep communication open
FWB is not a one-time agreement. Check in from time to time if you are both fine with everything and if you want to change something.
Don’t act like a couple
Don’t do dates or sleepovers just for cuddles. Also, there shouldn’t be any Valentine’s gifts or romantic surprises. Friendship with benefits is about casual fun and pleasure, not romance.
Always use protection
Even if you trust someone, it’s not a reason to skip safety measures. Be responsible, as STIs don’t care about your emotional boundaries, and there are many other ways to make it more complicated than it should be.
Control emotional involvement
It’s tempting to get emotionally attached, especially if you have a good friendship beforehand. But to make it really work, you need to have limits to emotional involvement and bonding activities, as it can cause deeper feelings.
Watch out for jealousy
FWB is not about being exclusive. If either of you gets jealous, it’s a sign that it might not be working for you.
Friends with Benefits Guide to Setting Boundaries
One of the key ways of how to do FWB right is setting boundaries. We know that it might be awkward, but some tips might help:
- Decide when and how often you’ll meet up
- Talk about exclusivity to have the right expectations
- Agree on what’s okay outside the bedroom so that you are both comfortable
- Have an exit plan for the situations when someone starts dating someone else or just wants to stop
Setting boundaries is very important to make the process less awkward, as you both will be on the same page.
How to Keep Your FWB Interested?
It’s easy to find local friends with benefits online, but a bit harder to make it work long-term. You don’t need to play games or send sexy Snapchats daily!
Follow these friends with benefits tips that work:
- Keep your word, and if you say you’ll meet up, follow through.
- Make things in bed fun! Be confident about trying something new and communicating your preferences.
- Don’t overdo the emotional talk, as you’d have the light and fun vibe.
- Don’t be clingy and respect your partner’s space. Also, having some mystery is always good.
- Stay kind and drama-free, as people will keep coming back to a good experience, not toxic energy.
The golden rule of how to keep your FWB interested is to keep it low-pressure and fun to make your FWB want more.
What’s Friends with Benefits Like Long Term?
Well, most FWB arrangements are not a forever thing. But some may go for months or even years. Long-term FWB can feel like a sweet spot between being single and a relationship. You have comfort and no drama, but it can get sour quickly. If you wonder how to be FWB long-term, keep an eye on some things:
- Boredom. If you don’t change things up from time to time, the spark can fade, and things get too routine.
- Mixed signals. That’s the sign that someone wants more than FWB, and it’s time to change things.
- Lifestyle changes. If your partner is moving, gets a new job, or gets into a relationship, it can shake things up.
If your relationship works long-term, it’s great. But don’t expect it to last forever. Enjoy it while you can and check in regularly if you’re still on the same page.
FWB Tips When Someone Catches Feelings
That’s a common thing in FWB relationships, as we as humans have built-in bonding features. So, if one of you catches feelings, it’s important to know what to do. If you are the one who caught feelings:
- Be honest about it and don’t suppress it.
- Talk to your partner without the expectation that they’ll feel the same.
- Be ready for it to end. If your feelings are not mutual, the best way is just to walk away.
If your partner has caught feelings:
- Listen, be clear about what you want, and don’t give hope for something you are not interested in.
- Set stricter boundaries or even pull back on contact or intimacy.
- End the relationship if needed, as the longer you play with emotions, the worse things get.
FWB works only if both partners are on the same page. When the balance shifts, it’s time to end it.
When a Friendship With Benefits Isn’t Possible?
One of the important friends-with-benefits tips we want to give you is when not to start FWB. Here are some reasons:
- You’re secretly in love and hope for the relationship status to change.
- Your potential FWB partner is in a complicated emotional state, like a breakup or grieving.
- You get jealous easily or attach fast to people.
- You already fight a lot as friends, and adding sex to it will make things even harder.
And sometimes you might just not have the right chemistry or be compatible in bed. So, if you feel off, just trust your gut and don’t start the FWB relationship.
Ending a Friends with Benefits Relationship Respectfully
The key to how to be a good friend with benefits is in leaving the relationship with a sweet aftertaste, not regrets of ever trying it. Here’s how to do it right:
- Talk in person if you can. It’s easier and better to have an honest conversation than to ghost or end things over text.
- Be direct but kind. It’s important to be grateful for the fun you had, but emphasize that it’s time to move on.
- Avoid blame. Don’t make it about what was wrong or blaming everything on them. Just communicate that your relationship has run its course and you want something else.
- Wish your partner well. If you still want to remain friends and be on good terms, just try to be very positive and light.
FWB is about being casual, but it’s not about being rude to someone’s feelings. It’s important to be in an adult position so that both of you keep only the fun memories, not bitterness.
Final Thoughts Before You Try
Now you know what is a friend with benefits and how to do it right. It can be a great way to learn more about your sexuality and have fun.
But it’s only possible if both people are on the same page. To remain so, you need to have clear communication and not ignore the red flags of catching feelings. It’s not always easy, but it can be an experience of a lifetime if you do it right.
